Amazing Race, Elder Scrolls Edition
by saladani
Summary: Lord Sheogorath has invited twelve teams from across time and space to compete in a race across Tamriel. Haskill hosts the Amazing Race, Elder Scrolls Edition.


**Amazing Race: Elder Scrolls Edition**

_A wide view shot passes over the city of Anvil on the Gold Coast of the Abecean Sea, heading towards an abandoned fort east of the city. Outside the gates of the fort, a Breton dressed in a black and red suit stands and begins his introduction:_

This is Fort Stand, a fort long overrun with smugglers and marauders. Today, the fort serves as the starting line for a race around Tamriel. I am Haskill, Chamberlin for the Lord Sheogorath and this is the Amazing Race.

In mere moments, twelve teams from across history will arrive, summoned by My Lord to this special time to compete for His amusement, as well as one-million gold pieces. No harm will come to them of course, there are no wild beasts or bandits in My Lord's version of Nirn. But I digress. Let's meet the teams, shall we?

_A carriage arrives and deposits two large Nord males dressed in plate armor emblazoned with a wolf's head. Their appearances are very similar, black hair, well-muscled body, beast-like eyes._

Farkas and Vilkus. Brothers and Companions from Whiterun, Skyrim.

"When we heard about this race, we initially thought _no way, no how_. But after talking to the Circle we decided to do it. Besides, not every day you get a chance to travel the world with your little brother." Vilkus gestured towards Farkas.

"Come on Vilkus, I'm the same age as you." "If you say so skeever-brain." Farkas rolls his eyes as the interview ends.

_Also stepping out of the carriage are another set of twins. Bretons this time, both with short blond hair and matching blue and green tunics. _

Guilbert and Reynald Jemane. Brothers from Weatherleah, Cyrodil.

"We were just recently reunited when we received this invitation. Reynald was passed out drunk at the time, but once he sobered up a bit he agreed." Reynald perks up after hearing his name.

"I'm like, _wha you wanna go rashing round *hic* for, boozes pleny right here._ Guess I shouldn *hic* drink so mush. Bein away from my favrite stuffle do me shom good." _He passes out._

"We're doomed, aren't we?"

_The next carriage arrives and two Dunmer men step out. The elder wears a red robe with short, cropped hair. The younger wears a plain white shirt, brown pants, and a mohawk._

Athyn and Varvur Sarethi. Father and son, from Ald'ruhn, Morrowind.

"My dad hasn't had much time to spend with me after he became a Councilor in House Redoran. I am hoping this race is an opportunity to reconnect with him."

"Varvur worries too much about me sometimes. He worries that the stresses of being a councilor have weakened our relationship. Maybe they have, maybe they haven't. Nevertheless, it is good to have a chance to spend time with him. And if I miss some boring votes in the council well…"

_Also stepping out of the carriage, a large Nord woman with iron armor and short blond hair. Accompanying her is a younger Imperial male with brown hair and a red overcoat. _

Mjoll and Aerin. Friends, from Riften, Skyrim.

"Aerin saved my life after I was badly wounded in a Dwemer ruin. We've been friends ever since. He's always wanted to see the world and I figured this is the perfect opportunity for that."

"Mjoll, or the Lioness as some call her, has always loved telling stories of her days as an adventurer. She's been trying to settle down in Riften, but I don't think she's quite ready yet. 'One last time' she told me when we got our invitation. I'm honored to be on this journey with her."

_A third carriage arrives and drops off two more teams. The first, a Bosmer woman in leather armor with straight black hair and an Argonian male in a fur tunic with long reddish-brown horns._

Methredhel and Amusei. Thieves, from the Imperial City.

"Amusei and I met when we were trying to join the Thieves Guild. He's a bumbling fool, but he knows how to get people to open up. He also kisses up better than anyone I know. How else could he have gotten into the Grey Fox's inner circle?"

"Methredhel is just jealous I outrank her. Still, when it comes to planning and navigating a city, she's the best there is. I think our differing skillset makes us very formidable. I outrank her though."

_The second team in the carriage consists of a Redguard woman wearing bonemold armor with a short, black afro and an Altmer male in a brown robe with a red-brown ponytail. _

Rithleen and Tyermailin. Neighbors and Blades, from Balmora, Morrowind.

"Tyermailin and I are, or were, assigned to provide support for Caius when we got this invitation. We were both hesitant, but Caius ordered us to 'Have fun, see the world'. Our primary asset wasn't due for a couple months anyway."

"I was planning on having a quiet final assignment. Sit in my house, maybe run a side job as a healer, usual undercover stuff. Caius sent us off instead. He's the boss, but I'm not sure this is a good idea. We'll see what happens."

_Another carriage, this time dropping off a pair of pale-skinned females. Both are dressed in black leather with red highlights and black hood. Their yellow eyes show discomfort under the bright sun._

Valerica and Serana. Mother and daughter, from Volkihar Keep, Skyrim.

"So, to get the obvious out of the way, yes, Serana and I are vampires. That makes people uncomfortable, and I completely understand. My husband did try to destroy the sun and take over the world after all. I… did some things I'm not proud of trying to stop him, and I hope my daughter doesn't hold it against me too much."

"She left me in a coffin for several thousand years! Granted, large parts of that were due to her being betrayed by nigh-omnipotent beings from another dimension and being imprisoned herself, but still. Surely she should've had some contingency plan in place? We were fortunate the f**ing Dragonborn themselves came along and cleaned up her mess."

_Another carriage, another two teams. The first, an Imperial woman in red shirt and dress, with a blond ponytail and a Breton woman with black ponytail and leather armor._

Ida Vlinorman and Irene Metrick. Friends, from the Imperial City.

"All those who engage in…discouraged pursuits know each other in the Imperial City. Well, those not in the Thieves Guild anyway. I jump off of high places and Irene…well, let's just say you don't want to cross her. At least, not on days ending in 'y'."

"Ida is a little too carefree for my tastes sometimes. Sure, this race is to amuse some big shot from Oblivion, but the money is nothing to sneeze at. I'm a bit surprised we got chosen to be honest. We got the skills, but I don't know if Ida's got the experience these others have. I hope she doesn't weigh us down."

_The second team consists of a blue robed Khajiit female with orange fur and a yellow robed Bosmer female with short, light blond hair. _

Ajira and Galbedir. Mage Guild apprentices, from Balmora, Morrowind.

"Ajira knows Galbedir will be not useful for many of these tasks. Ajira is Khajiit, and Khajiit always know when someone is not pulling their weight. Ajira suspects she will need to carry Galbedir through any task that isn't straight knowledge based."

"Ajira is full of it. She knows damned well she cheated on the last report we had to turn in. Anyone can hire some brute to go pick mushrooms and flowers, but doing complex soul gem analysis? She's going to drag us down, mark my words. She doesn't know nearly as much as she thinks she does."

_More carriages, more teams. First, an older orc male and younger female. The male wears fur armor, and red face paint to go with his long brown hair. The female is in orcish armor, no paint, with short black hair._

Larak and Borgakh. Father and daughter, from Mor Khazgur, Skyrim.

"My father is the chief of our tribe, but some question if he truly is blessed by Malacath. I think he seeks to prove himself on this race. As for me, my duty will be to be married off soon. Going on a grand adventure with my father, with my chief is an honor. I only hope Malacath approves of this decision."

"My daughter is strong, and will be a worthy wife when the time comes. But first, we have a race to win. Honor is very important for an orc, especially a chief. I am risking a lot leaving my clan alone for this long, but I need to prove to Malacath, and to myself that I am worthy to lead. Death or Glory!"

_An older pair steps out of the carriage next. An Argonian female in a green shirt with short spikes around her head and an Altmer male in a blue robe with short brown hair._

Kud-ei and Henantier. Mage's Guild colleagues, from Bravil, Cyrodil.

"Henantier and I have known each other since we attended Arcane University together decades ago. He has a rebellious streak about him and never thinks before he acts. Hopefully I'll be able to make him slow down a bit, otherwise I fear we could be the first team eliminated."

"Kud-ei's heart is in the right place, but she's too bound to her rules and restrictions. I mean, the council wants a month of advance notice before trying a simple spell! It's a wonder anything actually gets done. I admit, sometimes I can be a bit reckless, and I'm glad Kud-ei will be there if I go over that line, but I don't think I will."

_The final team squeezes out of their carriage. A teal robed Khajiit female with dark orange fur and a Redguard woman in a green robe with short brown hair. _

Ahnassi and Senyndie. Friends from southern Vvardenfell, Morrowind.

"Ahnassi is good friends with Senyndie. Ahnassi knows none of the other competitors will be able to outmaneuver this team. Ahnassi is Khajiit, and Senyndie might as well be."

"So Ahnassi's been bragging about me? Well, I guess I'm pretty mobile. I mean, no one else on Vvardenfell can move as well as I can. Well, not that I've seen anyway. There's always someone though, right? I think we have a good chance, but we'll see. It's been a while since we've spent time together, so this should be fun."

_All teams are now gathered around Haskill, waiting for him to explain what happens next._

I see you all made the journey safely. Wonderful. You twenty-four are here at the request of the Lord Sheogorath. He has created this copy of Nirn in a pocket outside of time. Don't ask me why, My Lord loves His games and secrets. I can tell you that no external threats exist in this world. No monsters, no bandits, no traps aside from those specially designed for the coming race tasks.

Speaking of which, you are about to embark upon a race across Tamriel. An Amazing Race if you will. This race will be broken up into several legs. At the end of each leg, there will be a pit stop. If your team is the last to arrive at a pit stop, you risk elimination, so, do hurry if you wish to avoid that.

Unless a clue says otherwise, you may not use any magic during the race. You will be provided equipment to perform required tasks. You will also receive a stipend at the beginning of each leg. This stipend must cover all expenses except for boat/long distance carriage fares which you won't have to pay for.

As you can see, your bags have been left outside the gate behind me. When I say go, you may run over to your bags, read your first clue, and be on your way. Where you go from there is up to you. The first team to reach the finish line at the end of the race will win one-million gold coins. If there are no questions about the rules, we will get started in three….

"Ahnassi's heart is pounding. She believes her team will do well, but…"

"I shay thish ish takin too long *hic*"

Two…

"Malacath demands victory, nothing less will do."

"I hope skeever-brain over there can keep up." "I heard that Vilkus."

"Hopefully I don't end up stuck in a coffin for millennia this time."

One…

"I swear, if Ajira gets us eliminated, I am going to kick her ass so hard."

"I'll let Methredhel take the lead. I may outrank her, but I also want to win so…"

"This is Aerin's first real adventure. Divines willing, we should do well."

Go!

_To be continued…_


End file.
